Sexting Like a Feminist: Humor in the Digital Feminist Revolution

On September 2nd, 2021, the amazing feminist and social justice activists of AWID’s Crear | Résister | Transform festival came together not only to share resistance strategies, co-create, and transform the world, but also to talk dirty on Twitter.

The exercise was led by Nana Darkoa Sekyiamah, co-founder of the blog Adventures From The Bedrooms of African Women and author of The Sex Lives of African Women, who paired up with the Pan-Africanist digital queer womanist platform AfroFemHub, to ask the question: How can we safely and consensually explore our pleasure, desires, and fantasies via text?

Basically: How would a feminist sext?

I believe this is a critically important question because it looks at the larger issue of how one navigates the online world with a feminist understanding. Under capitalism, discourse around bodies and sex can be dehumanizing and distorting, and navigating sexual pleasure in virtual spaces can feel performative. So seeking out avenues where we can explore how we share our desire in ways that are affirming and enthusiastic can push back against dominant models of presentation and consumption to reclaim these spaces as sites for authentic engagement, proving that all sexting should be just that: feminist.

Plus, allowing feminist discourse to embody its playful side in online discourse helps reframe a popular narrative that feminist engagement is joyless and dour. But as we know, having fun is part of our politics, and an inherent part of what it means to be feminist.

Using the hashtag #SextLikeAFeminist, scholars and activists from all over the world chimed in with their thirstiest feminist tweets, and here are my top ten.

As these tweets show, it turns out that sexting like a feminist is sexy, funny – and horny. Yet, it never loses sight of its commitment to equity and justice.

Cuando recién conociste a alguien y necesitas decirle algo bueno

Vamos despacio y con amabilidad. Los orgasmos, como la construcción de los movimientos feministas, llevan tiempo, energía y un poquito de creatividad.

Les vrai·e·s féministes n’humilient pas les désirs des autres.

La révolution dans ton froc ne passera pas à la télé… sauf si ce genre de truc t’excite, ce dont on peut parler… en personne [emoji visage avec des larmes de joie].

Lindiwe Rasekoala is a life coach who specializes in intimacy and relationship wellness coaching. She is a sexual health enthusiast and online contributor. Through her own experiences and unconventional methods of research, she believes she can bridge the education gap and lack of access to information around sexual wellness. She is a contributor on various radio and television shows, and has completed her coach training with the Certified Coaches Alliance. Lindiwe’s mission is to break down the barriers to conversations around sexual wellness and to empower her clients to achieve greater understanding of themselves so that they can experience a more healthy and holistic lifestyle and relationships. 

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