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Communicating Desire

and Other Embodied Political Praxes

Communicating Desire

Host: We tend to think about communicating desire as something that is limited to the private intimacy of the bedroom and our personal relationships. But can we also think of this kind of communication as a structure, a praxis that informs our work, and how we are, how we do in the world?

Lindiwe
I believe that unfortunately in the past, expressing your sexuality has been limited. You were allowed to express it within the confines of your marriage, which was permitted, there have always been taboo and stigmas attached to expressing it any other way. When it comes to communicating, obviously the fact that certain stigmas are attached to expressing your sexuality or expressing your desire makes it a lot harder to communicate that in the bedroom or intimately with your partner. From my personal experience, I do believe that obviously if I feel more comfortable expressing myself outside of the bedroom on other matters or other topics, it’s easier for me to build that trust, because you understand conflict resolution with that particular person, you understand exactly how to make your communication special towards that particular person. It’s not easy. It’s something that is consistently done throughout whatever your engagement is, whether it’s your relationship or whether it’s casual and just in the moment. But I believe that confidence outside can definitely translate to how you communicate your desire.

Manal
Since childhood, a woman is raised with that, “you’re not allowed to talk about your body, you’re not allowed to talk about your desire,” which puts a heavy responsibility on women, especially girls in their teens when they need to express themselves and talk about these issues. So for me I think this is a big problem. You know, I have been married for more than 25 years, but still, until now, I cannot talk about my desires. I cannot say what I want or what I prefer, because it’s like I’m not allowed to go beyond this line. It’s like haram, despite it being my right. This is the case for all my friends, they just can’t express themselves in the right way.

Louise
Personally, I find that expressing our desires, my desires, however that expression comes in hand, has to do with the other, and the gaze that the other would have on me. So this is also something that we can link to cinema. And the gaze I would have on myself as well: what I think I am as an individual, but also what society expects of me and my sexuality. In the past, I somehow did the analogy between what happens in the bedroom and what happens in the workplace, because there is sometimes this dynamic of power, whether I want it or not. And oftentimes, verbal communication is harder than we think. But when it comes to representation in film, that’s a totally different game. We are very far away from what I guess all of us here would like to see on screen when it comes to just communicating sexual desires inside or outside the bedroom. 

Online and Embodied

Host: We can think about the digital world as embodied: while it might be virtual, it is not less real. And this was made clear in the context of AWID’s feminist realities festival, which took place entirely online. What does it mean then to talk about sexuality, collectively, politically, in online spaces? Do we navigate virtual spaces with our bodies and affects, and in this case, what are the different considerations? What does it do to communication and representation?

Lindiwe
Social media makes you feel community-based. When you express what it is that you want or like, there is someone who’s either going to agree or disagree, but those who do agree make you feel that you belong to a community. So it’s easier to throw it out into the universe, or for others to see, and potentially not get as much judgment. And I say this very loosely because sometimes, depending on what it is that you’re expressing, it either will get you vilified or celebrated. But when it comes to the bedroom, there is an intimacy and almost a vulnerability that is exposing you and different parts of you that is not as easy to give your opinion on. When it comes to expressing your desire, speaking it and saying it and maybe putting a Tweet or a social media post, or even liking and reading other communities that are same-minded is a lot easier than telling your partner, “this is how I want to be pleasured” or “this is how what I want you to do next,” because of the fear of rejection. But not only that, just the vulnerability aspect – allowing yourself to be bare enough to let the other person see into what you are thinking, feeling, and wanting – I think this is where the difference would come in for me personally. I feel it is a lot more community-based on social media, and it’s easier to engage in discourse. Whereas in the bedroom, you don’t want to necessarily kill the moment. But I think that also kind of helps you understand going forward, depending on the relationship with the person, how you would engage thereafter. So I always know that if I try to communicate something and I fail to do so in the moment, I can always try to bring it up outside of that moment and see what the reaction would be so I know how to approach it going forward.

Louise
You know the question in films is, I don’t know if the male gaze is done intentionally or not. Like we don’t really know that. What we know is that the reason why sexuality in general has been so heternormative and focused on penetration and not giving any space for women to actually ask for anything in films, is because most of the people who have been working in this industry and making decisions in terms of, you know, storytelling and editing have been white men. So rape revenge is this very weird film genre that was birthed in the 70s, and half of the story would be that a woman is being raped by one or multiple people, and in the other half, she would get her revenge. So usually she would murder and kill the people who have raped her, and sometimes other people next to them. At the beginning of the birth of this genre and for 30 years at least, those films were written, produced, and directed by men. This is why we also want so much representation. A lot of feminists and pioneers in queer filmmaking also used the act of filming in order to do that and to reclaim their own sexuality. I’m thinking about Barbara Hammer, who’s a feminist and queer pioneer in experimental cinema in the U.S. where she decided to shoot women having sex on 16mm, and by doing so reclaimed a space within the narrative that was exposed in film at that time. And there is also then the question of invisibilization: we know now, because of the internet and sharing knowledge, that women and queer filmmakers have been trying and making films since the beginning of cinema. We only realize it now that we have access to databases and the work of activists and curators and filmmakers.

Resisting Colonization

Host: And this opens up the conversation on the importance of keeping our feminist histories alive. The online worlds have also played a crucial role in documenting protests and resistance. From Sudan to Palestine to Colombia, feminists have taken our screens by storm, challenging the realities of occupation, capitalism, and oppression. So could we speak of communicating desire – the desire for something else – as decolonization?

Manal
Maybe because my village is just 600 residents and the whole village is one family – Tamimi – there are no barriers between men and women. We do everything together. So when we began our non-violent resistance or when we joined the non-violent resistance in Palestine, there was no discussion whether women should participate or not. We took a very important role within the movement here in the village. But when other villages and other places began to join our weekly protests, some men thought that if these women participate or join the protests, they will fight with soldiers so it will be like they’re easy women. There were some men who were not from the village who tried to sexually harass the women. But a strong woman who is able to stand in front of a soldier can also stand against sexual harassment. Sometimes, when other women from other places join our protest, they are shy at first; they don’t want to come closer because there are many men. If you want to join the protest, if you want to be part of the non-violent movement, you have to remove all these restrictions and all these thoughts from your mind. You have to focus on just fighting for your rights. Unfortunately, the Israeli occupation realizes this issue. For example, the first time I was arrested, I wear the hijab so they tried to take it off; they tried to take off my clothes, in front of everybody. There were like 300-400 people and they tried to do it. When they took me to the interrogation, the interrogator said: “we did this because we want to punish other women through you. We know your culture.” So I told him: “I don’t care, I did something that I believe in. Even if you take all my clothes off, everybody knows that Manal is resisting.”

Lindiwe
I think even from a cultural perspective, which is very ironic, if you look at culture in Africa, prior to getting colonized, showing skin wasn’t a problem. Wearing animal skin and/or hides to protect you, that wasn’t an issue and people weren’t as sexualized unless it was within context. But we conditioned ourselves to say, “you should be covered up” and the moment you are not covered up you are exposed, and therefore it will be sexualized. Nudity gets sexualized as opposed to you just being naked; they don’t want a little girl to be seen naked. What kind of society have we conditioned ourselves to be if you’re going to be sexualizing someone who is naked outside of the context of a sexual engagement? But environment definitely plays a big role because your parents and your grannies and your aunts say “no, don’t dress inappropriately,” or “no, that’s too short.” So you hear that at home first, and then the moment you get exposed outside, depending on the environment, whether it’s a Eurocentric or more westernized environment to what you are used to, then you are kind of free to do so. And even then, as much as you are free, there’s still a lot that comes with it in terms of catcalling and people still sexualizing your body. You could be wearing a short skirt, and someone feels they have the right to touch you without your permission. There is so much that is associated with regulating and controlling women’s bodies, and that narrative starts at home. And then you go out into your community and society and the narrative gets perpetuated, and you realize that you get sexualized by society at large too, especially as a person of color.

Resistance as Pleasure

Host: And finally, in what ways can our resistance be more than what we are allowed? Is there a place for pleasure and joy, for us and our communities?

Louise
Finding pleasure as resistance and resistance in pleasure, first for me there is this idea of the guerrilla filmmaking or the action of filming when you’re not supposed to or when someone told you not to, which is the case for a lot of women and queer filmmakers in the world right now. For example, in Lebanon, which is a cinema scene that I know very well, most of the lesbian stories that I’ve seen were shot by students in very short formats with “no production value” as the west would say – meaning with no money, because of the censorship that happens on an institutional level, but also within the family and within the private sphere. I would think that filming whatever, but also filming pleasure and pleasure within lesbian storytelling is an act of resistance in itself. A lot of times, just taking a camera and getting someone to edit and someone to act is extremely hard and requires a lot of political stance.

Lindiwe
I have a rape support group. I’m trying to assist women to reintegrate themselves from a sexual perspective: wanting to be intimate again, wanting to not let their past traumas influence so much how they move forward. It’s not an easy thing, but it’s individual. So I always start with understanding your body. I feel the more you understand and love and are proud of it, the more you are able to allow someone else into that space. I call it sensuality training, where I get them to start seeing themselves as not sexual objects, but as objects of pleasure and desire that can be interchangeable. So you’re worthy of receiving as well as giving. But that’s not only from a psychological point of view; it is physical. When you get out of the shower, you get out of the bath, and you’re putting lotion on your body, look at every part of your body, feel every part of your body, know when there are changes, know your body so well that should you get a new pimple on your knee, you are so aware of it because just a few hours ago it wasn’t there. So things like that where I kind of get people to love themselves from within, so they feel they are worthy of being loved in a safe space, is how I gear them towards claiming their sexuality and their desire.

Manal
You know we began to see women coming from Nablus, from Jerusalem, from Ramallah, even from occupied 48, who have to drive for 3-4 hours just to come to join the protests. After that we tried to go to other places, talk with women, tell them that they don’t have to be shy, that they should just believe in themselves and that there is nothing wrong in what we are doing. You can protect yourself, so where is the wrong in participating or in joining? Once I asked some women, “why are you joining?” And they said, “if the Tamimi women can do it, we can do it also.” To be honest I was very happy to hear this because we were like a model for other women. If I have to stand for my rights, it should be all my rights, not just one or two. We can’t divide rights.

六大主軸支持起論壇中女性主義理念實現的框架。每個主軸都以實現的女性主義理念、經驗和願景為中心，探討抵抗與主張、奮鬥與另類選擇之間持續不斷的關係。我們希望能共同探討出女性主義理念實現的構成要素，並找到讓女性主義理念實現在人生不同領域，欣欣向榮發展的推動力。

這些實現的理念可能以生活方式、夢想和構思中的想法充分表達，或是寶貴的經驗和重要的時刻。

這些主軸並不是孤立的主題，而是與論壇活動相互串連的載體。我們預期許多活動會處在這些主題的交匯處，不同的爭取方式、社群和運動之間的交匯處。這些說明只是初步的描述，會隨著女性主義理念實現之旅的開展而不斷地演變。

社群、運動和經濟正義的資源

本議題主軸聚焦以下問題：個人、社群和運動如何滿足自身的基本需求，並用以人為本及自然為本的方式，確保我們所需繁盛發展的資源。「資源」指的是食物、水、清潔的空氣以及金錢、勞動力、資訊、知識和時間等等。

女性主義者對抗以剝削和榨取掛帥的主流經濟體制，對於組織我們的經濟與社會生活，女性主義提出了方案、累積經驗與付諸實踐，本主軸借重其經驗，表彰深具影響力與啟發性者。糧食和種子主權、女性主義的工作和勞動願景、公正和永續的貿易體系等等，只是將要探索的一部分問題而已。我們將勇敢面對在壓迫的經濟體制下為了生存而產生的矛盾。

女性主義針對經濟正義與創造財富進行了廣泛分析，本主軸以此為前提研究組織與運動獲得資金與資源的主題，探討如何將資源轉移到需要的地方，如何從稅捐正義和基本收入的模式轉移到不同的慈善模式以及運動該如何發揮創意並自主開源。

治理、當責與正義

我們力求樹立新的願景，並擴展女性主義治理、當責和正義以實現的理念與經驗。面對全球危機以及法西斯主義和基本教義派崛起，這個主軸以女性主義的、激進又解放的模式、實務與理念為重心，從在地到全球，探討社會與政治生活的組織。

本議題主軸將探討女性主義治理的樣貌，從女性主義的地方自治經驗、在民族國家以外建立制度，再到我們對多邊主義的願景。我們將交流社群、組織和運動中正義和當責製程序的經驗，包括修復式、以社群為本、轉型正義模式，而這些模式拒絕國家暴力和監獄產業綜合體。

以旅行、移民和難民以及女性主義組織經驗為中心，我們追求一個沒有致命邊境政權的世界：一個可以自由移動，旅程令人雀躍的世界。

數位化的現實

科技在我們生活中扮演的角色越來越吃重，線上與線下真實之間的分野越來越模糊。女性主義者廣泛應用科技與線上空間來營造社群、相互學習和動員行動。借助線上空間，我們可以拓寬實體世界的邊界。但另一方面，數位通訊主要歸企業所有，而其對用戶的責任卻很少。資料探勘、監視和安全漏洞已成為常態，網路暴力和騷擾也是。

本議題主軸探討了數位化現實下的女性主義機遇和挑戰。我們將探討主導數位環境私有平台的替代方案、探索網路空間時維持身心健康的策略，以及如何應用科技來克服取得服務的挑戰。關於愉悅、信任和人際關係，我們將探索科技可發揮的潛力。

身體、愉悅和健康

女性主義理念實現也存在於自身：體現的經驗。父權、順性別異性戀與資本主義掛帥結構的核心依然為對勞動、移動、生殖以及性相的掌控。要顛覆這種壓迫，擁有多元性別、性相和能力的人相會，打造喜悅、關懷、愉悅及強烈欣賞自我與他人的空間以及次文化。

本議題主軸將探討不同社會與文化中。女性、跨性別者、非二元性別者、非常規性別者、陰陽人，對於授意權、能動性與慾望的多元想法、敘事、想像力及文化表現。

我們將分享贏得生育權和正義的戰略，並闡明能實現和尊重人身自主、完整和自由的社會實務。該議題主軸串連不同抗爭和運動，相互交流彼此關於身心健康和愉悅的經驗和觀點。

女性主義星球與生命

想像一顆女性主義的星球。水的聲音聽起來如何？空氣的味道聞起來如何？土壤的觸感摸起來如何？星球與包括人類在內的生命之間有什麼關係？實現的女性主義理念亦即環境和氣候正義的實現。女性主義、原住民、去殖民和生態抗爭通常源自轉型願景以及人與自然之間的關係。

本議題主軸以我們星球的福祉為中心，反映了人類與地球互動並重塑地球的方式。永續女性主義星球包含探索傳統知識和生物多樣性，並學習女性主義關於以下議題的實踐，包括去成長（degrowth）、公社共有實踐、平行經濟模式、農業生態、糧食和能源主權倡議等。

組織女性主義運動

雖然我們認為所有的議題主軸息息相關，但此主軸確實是貫串所有主軸，因此無論您提交的活動與哪一類議題主軸串連，我們也邀請您在提案中加入組織面向。

當今的世界是如何組織女性運動的？這個問題將我們的注意力轉移到參與者、權力機制、資源、領導力，我們所處的經濟狀態，我們對正義和當責的認知，數位化時代，以及對自治、身心健康和集體關懷的經驗上。我們希望所有議題主軸都可以創造一個可以誠實反思的空間，思考運動中的權力分配、資源分配與協商。

論壇是一個協作過程

該論壇不僅僅是一個四天的會議。它更為女權主義現實實踐的運動增強之旅提供了另一個驛站，該旅程早已開始也將在論壇結束後繼續。

加入我們的旅程吧！

Voyager à Bangkok

Continuez à explorer Incarnations transnationales

Cette édition du journal, en partenariat avec Kohl : a Journal for Body and Gender Research (Kohl : une revue pour la recherche sur le corps et le genre) explorera les solutions, propositions et réalités féministes afin de transformer notre monde actuel, nos corps et nos sexualités.

Explorer

"A Feminist Approach to Understanding Illicit Financial Flows and Redirecting Global Wealth"

Download your facilitation guide in English

This Guide is also available in Spanish and Russian

Thanks to the co-creators of this facilitation guide:

• Daniela Fonkatz and Ana Ines Abelenda (AWID)
• Zenaida Joachim (Mesoamericanas en Resistencia - El Salvador)
• Olga Shnyrova (Ivanovo Center for Gender Studies - Russia)
• Leah Eryenyu (Akina Mama Wa Afrika - Uganda)
• Daryl Leyesa (Oriang and PKKK/National Rural Women Congress - the Philippines)

The Call for Activities lists a number of suggested formats and methodologies. Be creative and make sure to read the section “What you need to know”.

النمرة.